I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
