office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
