i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize