Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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