It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
