just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
