Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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