Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
