im drinking this country out of the recession.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
