sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Randomize
