so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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