My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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