Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
