10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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