I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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