There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
