weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
