please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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