I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
