he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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