Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
