shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
