you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
