i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think I sprained my soul last night
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
