What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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