I hate all girls vehemently.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
