apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
