saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Green mimosas i think yes
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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