i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
