I accidentally had phone sex last night
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
