they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
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