if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
