how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
