I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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