you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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