Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
