was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
