Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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