You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
