I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
