He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
