Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
