is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
