Plan B is the new Plan A
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
she smelled like a LAN party
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
