I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
