you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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