Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
