i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
handjob tips. give me some.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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