I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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