i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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