dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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