I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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