This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
