Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
