Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
