my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
