I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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