I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
