I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
