do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
