i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
