Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
