you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
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