hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
