Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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