She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I haven't been this sober since birth.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
