Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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