Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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