I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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