found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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