I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
