You made me cry and you don't even care
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
