my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
