2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
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