I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
