Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
