Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
