Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize